Things That Change Us
by Adgie
Summary: When you lose something precious to you, you'll do almost anything to get it back. Major character death.
1. Brennan

Honestly, I can't even tell you where this story came from... well I can actually but I won't. There are two chapters, different stories, same idea.

AN: Major character deaths and possibly OOC but I can't say I'm particularly bothered by that in this story. So, Enjoy.

She wonders, if it does exist, how long it takes to travel to Heaven.

The thought of living forever has never appealed to her. Time is infinite and travels in both directions. Nothing on a linear timeline only happens once.

Being around for the next Hitler was never on her list of things to do.

Some days she just feels so tired. The nights after it's too hard to sleep, and she lies awake, trying not to blink because all she sees is red behind her eyelids.

Booth was a good man. He served his country, protected it's people, played football with Parker. This was the reason she never believed in the idea of fate. People are always saying "fate" in a happy connotation, Booth believed in it but if there was a divine spirit that had control over everything, why hadn't He let Booth's plane land safely on tarmac of Dulles, like it was supposed to? A man loved by so many, and a son left without a father. How was that fair?

It wasn't like her; there were many things she did that were unlike herself now, like… crying herself to sleep on the days she just missed him too much to do anything else, she sat outside staring up at the old stone building, the big ascending windows stained with a myriad of colors, scenes of Jesus' life playing out among them. She felt her heart actually speed up as the first people started walking towards the building, mom's beckoning their children to their side straightening their hair, husband's holding their wives hands.

They all looked so happy. They all looked so… much better than her.

Taking a deep breath and pulling her courage she opened her car door, stepping out a breathing the crisp spring air that held the fragrance of blossoming flowers.

Her business suit wasn't entirely appropriate she realized, but then she hadn't really planned on being here.

Booth had been Catholic, she knew, but there was a strict code in the Catholic Church she was afraid she couldn't adhere to. She didn't want this to be in vain.

The inside of the church, to her surprise, wasn't as extravagant as the outside. She found a pew at the back and sat watching the parishioners as the settled in.

Throughout the sermon she was confounded by the lack of attention some gave the world of their Lord. Some were sleep quietly their heads tilted a book open on their lap. Many checked their watches. Brennan was an Anthropologist; she had trained her eye to see the way humans interacted with each other and their environment. She gave her unyielding attention to the man at the podium.

She resisted the urge to completely disregard everything the Pastor said. Old habits die hard, she had heard someone say once.

After all she wasn't looking for absolution, or forgiveness of her sins, she wasn't looking for the "Holy Sprit", or for someone to release from her her demons.

She was just looking for a way to see her best friend again.


	2. Booth

A.N. Ok so I didn't like the Booth chapter of this story AT ALL so I took it down, but tonight after some gentle musing, I rewrote and I'm much happier with the result now. Yeah. It's another somber story, I don't give a fuck, I'm a sad person. But I hope you enjoy it and I hope the message I'm trying to get through is clearer this time around =).

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><p>Does God decide when you are dead enough to find yourself at the Pearly Gates or does he leave it up to the professionals? And if "near-death experiences" as they're called (which makes no sense, either you die and are revived, you're alive, or you're dead.) were real, wouldn't they all be consistent? Surely God wouldn't change the experience for every person. Also, how does a near death experience work? When you die you go to Heaven and… what? You get the choice to stay in Heaven or go back to Earth or do you just chat with God until the doctors revive you? Then is it really God's choice or is the choice borrowed by some doctor with a defibrillator in his hands?<p>

God says he controls everything. Everything. So… As I'm sitting here in church going through the motions of a typical Catholic service, with these thoughts going through my head instead of the innumerable Hail Mary's, I can't help but wonder why Temperance Brennan isn't wandering around denying his existence. You'd think it only be fair to perform a miracle for a non-believer, a blatant one that no one could look past, before you killed them off, right? I mean, she was a good person. Sure her experiences made her a little cold to the 'Big Man Upstairs', but she saved lives, she gave people their names back, and I don't even know if there's a word for what she's given me. She would have known. But she'll never be able to tell me because she somewhere six feet below my feet becoming what she loved so much in life. Is there something else that makes someone else more qualified to go to Heaven?

And suddenly, I don't want to be here anymore. Parker doesn't understand, We've never left church early. Ever. All he can really do is follow behind me, confused as he is, I just wish I could explain to him that I don't want him learning to love a façade.


End file.
